... so, here I am. Well, it's not like a lot of people read my Friendster blog. I think the only people who ever set eyes on my other blog was my friend Ma-anne (who is also a blogger) and my dearest Ivan (whom I pestered to read my blogs). Not that this is the most important issue in my life right now.
I remember writing in one of my editorials for UPPA's newsletter:
"Death changes things. People who have been given a new lease on life often become more in tune with their mortality and hence strive harder to live and live their lives to the fullest."
Now, I'm not really the best authority on death here since I haven't really experienced it. I mean, obviously, I haven't died and I don't have anyone close to me who has died or is close to death, so I don't really know how it feels. I really don't want to know how it feels, but I know it's inevitable. Like Rey said:"It's a part of life."
He's right, of course. But still, I wouldn't want to face it if I had to. My death, maybe,I would find that tolerable, more tolerable than having to face someone else's death. I once asked the question, "Which would you choose, have your loved one die for you or die for your loved one?" Sometimes, it seems like the more selfish answer is have your loved one die for you. I think that's what most people would think, but in my opinion, the more selfish answer is die for your loved one. Not only did you sentence your loved one to a life knowing that you died for him/her, but you also left your loved one alone.
So, why such a depressing first post? No, it's has nothing to do with my Friendster blog, I'm not that shallow nor am I that capable of developing off tangent thoughts. My friend's dad just died. She's one of my dearest friends and also one of the nicest and most wonderful people I know. We met when we were both UPPA applicants and even then, I looked up to her despite the fact that I am older and was the head of the group. I've always looked at her as such a strong person who will always be there for anyone who needs her and now that she's the one who is in pain...
I don't know what to say to her. What do you say to someone who has just lost a loved one? Are there really words of consolation that could ease the pain? When she had other problems, more adolescent problems like matters of the heart and schoolwork, I knew what to say. Sometimes, I think I don't run out of things to say to people. This whole thing proved me wrong. This is something only someone who has experienced it could understand, I guess. But, in the meantime, what do you do?