Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Dream: This is just plain weird

It seems as though a lot of people in the world believe that dreams mean more than what they are. Oftentimes, it's best to think of dreams as what they are: Dreams. But, sometimes, our dreams show us things we don't want to acknowledge in real life. Sometimes, patterns we don't consider important and consequently ignore in our waking moments become crucial in interpreting what our subconscious has long found to be interesting or important.

Anyway, I'll stop justifying why I keep on recording my dreams and get on with it.
The farthest back I can remember is a class of freshmen visiting one of the senior classes. I don't think I was a member of that class, but I believe Ivan and Atchong were (don't ask me why they're classmates here when they're two year levels apart). The place looked more like the new NIP building, but it seemed bigger in my dream.

I didn't stay in the class, Bei came up to me and called me. You wanted to talk to me for some unknown reason. Bei and I talk for a few minutes, discussing the multitude of probable topics, then she leads me to you. I remember Bei and myself being capable of flight, because we (literally) flew down the stairs. You come up to me and tell me it's important, but also private. You said there were a lot of prying eyes around us and we needed to find a safe place to talk. You take my hand and lead me through the halls. Again, it feels like we're flying. We reach a place which you call "meshy corner", but it doesn't look like the mushy corner in the old building. But there are bags all over the place where people are supposed to sit, and a girl tells us that the spot is reserved for some other people. We look for other places to sit and talk, to no avail.

Before I continue, here's some background information on the me in my dream. It seems as if I wrote something that was published in The Philippine Star that got me in a lot of trouble.

Anyway, when we finally find a place to talk, you give me a tight embrace. It's obvious that something is very wrong, but before you can tell me, you have to go. You don't ask for my help and I don't offer it, but following some unwritten agreement, I go after you to help you (you're running this time). Then, it suddenly feels like we're being chased. Rather, I realize that we're being chased by someone. That someone is big and powerful (magically speaking) and, according to my dream self's description, an insufferable tyrant. It seems as though the big guy has issues with you.

We run all around NIP, trying to get away. There is even a point where I am able to hide myself by changing forms. You're able to do this, too. We rest for a moment and I see, hiding nearby, a man who should be an ally of the big guy who's after us. He's also changed form and looks frightened. I take a moment to look around and see that we're outside. A few meters to our left is a large castle-like building made of pale fleshy pink stones. It's in ruins. I somehow know before I go into it that though it's filled about a quarter way to the ceiling with water, its architecture is magnificent. The big guy passes us and heads right for the ruined building. The man who is hiding with us goes after him and somehow, I know that our cover is blown. I see satyrs and centaurs running away, fearful of the one who is chasing us. We both head for the ruins. He sees you and you fight. I try to help and am able to, once. I think I managed to distract your opponent enough for you to be able to deliver a surprise attack, which we initially thought defeated him. But he comes back much stronger. When I felt that you're about to lose, I become very scared. Not wanting to see your apprently imminent demise, I fly away.

There is actually another matter I have to attend to. I head for the office of the paper I wrote for. When I get there, it's already being closed down by the police. The editor and I try to convince the police to reconsider, but they don't. As the printing machines, files, and computers are taken away, I watch with mounting guilt. I was of no help to you and I was of no help to the people I caused trouble for. I sit on the floor, but before I can scream in frustration, you call me from behind. Relieved to see you, I immediately jump up and give you a hug and ask if you're okay. You hug me back and tell me that it's over. The big guy was defeated. You won. You give me another tight embrace. As you do, I see over your shoulder our friends coming up the stairs. I see Phoebe first. She smiles at me. I pull away just as they come in. You try to talk to me, but there are far too many people.

I hear Ivan's voice. He and Leonard are picking on one of the freshmen that visited Ivan's class. Ivan asked the boy something like, "Di ba bumisita ka sa klase namin? Ano'ng schedule ng klase namin?"
The kid says something like, "Uh...Monday..."
Ivan says, "Patay tayo diyan."
Leonard jokingly reprimands the kid for not knowing the right answer. Ivan explains how the schedule can be derived from the section of the class.
I go to Ivan and kiss him. He smiles at me and puts his arm around me. I feel guilty for leaving you again when you say you have something important to say. But at that moment, I was missing Ivan.

And then I woke up. When I woke up, it was almost like I saw end credits roll down in my head. Here's the song that was playing in my head the moment I woke up.

Panalangin
by Apo Hiking Society

Panalangin ko sa habang buhay
Makapiling ka Makasama ka
Yan ang panalangin ko

At hindi papayag ang pusong ito
Mawala ka sa 'king piling
Mahal ko iyong dinggin

Wala nang iba pang mas mahalaga
Sa tamis na dulot ng pag-ibig natin dal'wa
At sana nama'y makikinig ka
Kapag aking sabihing minamahal kita

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