Sunday, September 28, 2008

Five Tickets

Give yourself five tickets to be foolish, but you should use them wisely.

It's quite interesting how we constantly use the excuse that we're only human, when we rarely forgive ourselves for being human.

Love and sex are two aspects of our lives where we are most human. When we love, when we need love, when we want lovin', these are the times when we seem incapable of thinking straight. These are the times when we cannot seem to control our urges. We find ourselves seeing more, hearing more, feeling more. And, even when our minds tell us to do otherwise, we can't seem to find the willpower to do what our minds tell us. Then, we get burned. Then we chastise ourselves for being stupid. We hate ourselves because we already knew what was going to happen. We punish ourselves with insecurity and guilt.

I knew...

I knew that sitting at the lobby of that hotel room was not only wrong, it would lead to pain and heartache. It took me a year to come to terms with that. It took me even longer to let go of the feelings that formed that night. It wasn't that I held hope that it could happen, because it was not something I wanted to happen. It was because I could not forgive myself for what happened, what I allowed myself to feel.

My beloved, do not make the same mistake. We are logical people. We are allowed to make mistakes because we are not perfect. It is not that one mistake that ruins lives, it is living in the shadow of that mistake that brings us to ruin.

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