Save Up?

Perhaps it's the really kuripot side of me that makes touching my savings unthinkable. I'm always thinking, What if something comes up? So, my money is pretty much going stale at the Pasig Cooperative, under the watchful eye of Ka-Impok. I didn't touch the money to buy a new laptop and I have no plans of touching that money to fix up my car. I'm not going to spend my life savings on such short-sighted things. A trip to the moon or a functioning green house in Antartica, now those are things I would spend money on.

A few years ago, back when we were still 2/3 of M13's "Powerpuff Girls", Patty Jhocson and I talked about managing money. She said something along the lines of, "It's not just that we have a lot of money, we do, but there are a lot of people who earn as much as our parents do. It's what we do with that money we have that counts."

And, newsflash, people, she's right.

I didn't realize until the people around me began earning money how most people really dealt with their money. The money that is left in the ATM account that the office uses to disperse salaries is always for something in particular, never for the future. No one saves for a rainy day, anymore. Well, I do, but I've been informed (with as much affection as possible) that I am weird.

But, is opening a bank account really what it's all about? I have a savings account at BDO, where the interest rate is 0.75%. Two years ago, the bottomless iced tea at Chocolate Kiss was worth P45. If I put that P45 in the bank, and I withdrew that money plus the interest it got two years later (which would mean, like, now), I would get P45.6775. That seems like a good deal, considering I just sat around and waited for my money to earn 68 centavos on its own. However, the last time I went to Chocolate Kiss, which was last Tuesday, the bottomless iced tea was worth P48. So my money from two years ago plus interest isn't even worth one bottomless iced tea with the honey watered down.

It's not just about saving up, it's about investing. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's risky business. I know squat about managing a portfolio and my bottomless iced tea money isn't even enough to buy a fund manager his own bottomless iced. So, right now, I'm considering putting some money into a Unit Investment Trust Fund, which is, to make a long explanation short, a fund that allows the bank's fund managers take care of investing your money for you. But I'm apprehensive about investing right now. The markets are unstable (because of social uncertainty and the US recession) and all the banks I've gone to have admitted that the value of their portfolios (and, effectively the money of their investors) are falling.

So, my battle plan is to stuff a certain amount of money (preferably money I earned and not the money I've been saving) into a short term time deposit, let it brew there a bit (earning a couple of pesos along the way), then invest half of it at the end of the year. I'm hoping that the US elections next year and the economic reforms implemented this year will help the market improve by 2009. If all goes well, the rest of my time deposited money will be invested by the end of March 2009.

Does that seem reasonable or should I just ask Ka-Impok to take care of everything?

Sympathizing with Padre Damaso

These are the last lines of our P.I. 100 Noli Me Tangere play. That play turned out well because of the efforts of my groupmates. I had such an awesome team to direct. Here are some of the closing lines of the play, which was a parody of Noli and aimed to sympathize with the story's villain, Padre Damaso.

"May hustisya ba ang Diyos? Bakit niya parurusahan ang isang tao ng ganito? Hindi madaling tumanggi sa tukso. Hindi madaling magparaya sa mga umiinsulto. Akala ko ba'y mapagpatawad at mahabagin ang Diyos? Bakit hindi niya dininig ang panalangin ng isang alagad na matagal na nanilbihan sa kanya?

"At, sa pagtatapos, aking ipinaaalam sa inyong mga minamahal naming manonood na ang pagkamatay ni Padre Damaso ay bunga ng kalungkutan. Hinihiling namin sa inyong iyuko ang inyong mga ulo at ipagdasal ang kanyang kaluluwa na sana'y maligtas mula sa mga apoy ng Purgatoryo. Sapagkat nilahian man ng ulupong ang mga ganitong nilalang ng Diyos, sila pa rin ay mga tao: natutukso, nasasaktan, nagagalit, at higit sa lahat, ay nangangailangan ng inyong paguunawa."

Missing Methodology...

Modesty aside, when I conceptualized this study on decoupling in August of 2007, I believe I was demonstrating an incredible amount of foresight. I wanted to treat the GDP/GNP and currency as products of a complex system and use them as indicators of economic coupling or decoupling. Basically, I wanted to find out if a model Asian economy (probably Thailand or Indonesia, not the Philippines) would decouple from the US economy and, if so, what next? Would it couple with China? Would some form of independence be achieved? The big BUT of this study, though, is the methodology.

What would be the best way to go about the study?

At that time, I tried to devise a risk, compensation, and response model, but it's a bit complicated (needs to be tested on simpler systems), is computationally expensive (but not as much as MD), and would not be able to work for longtime simulations (try simulating several years). I'm also considering projection methods, which would use previous data to predict the future trends. I'm just not sure what would work well on coupled data like the ones that I would have to use. And then, of course, I could just use differential equations.

Hmmm... what to do, what to do? I want to finish a concept paper on this before June so I can formally propose it to Dr. Banzon and my prospective research partner.

Let's vote for Tubbataha as one of the 7 Wonders of the World

In the midst of all these investigations and controversies, I think we should take a moment to channel our energies to something more positive.

The New7Wonders website says:

"Voting for nominees will continue through 31.12.08. A New7Wonders Panel of Experts will then select the 21 finalists, from which voters worldwide will elect the New 7 Wonders of Nature."

The Philippines's very own Tubbataha Reef is currently at No. 28. You know what to do. Click this link and vote,

A Little Black Book

My 82-year old grandfather has a little black book. Every year, he changes that little black book, filling it with relevant names and birthdays, with other pertinent information in his life. To a man who came from a time when a man's virility is of utmost importance and is best reflected not just by the number of children he has, but by the number of women he keeps, his little black book is quite important. The worn out little leatherette booklet that I noticed him flick through every now and then, for me, was just another reminder of his many indiscretions as a man of his time.

My lasting memories of my grandfather are of conversations beginning with "O, hija, ano'ng grade mo na?" and ended with "Mag-doktora ka. Mainam na may doktorang nakakabit sa pangalan mo. Nirerespeto ka kahit saan ka pumunta." Even as a young child, I knew how title-conscious my grandfather was. But, to me, he was just a man who came from a time when a man's accomplishments are best measured by the titles he holds and the money he earns. Despite this, he's one of the many reasons I decided to get a PhD. "Doctor pa rin naman, of Physics nga lang," I would joke.

Our conversation during this afternoon's reunion started a bit differently from what I was used to. "I have 47 grandchildren," he told me and Tito Danny, the husband of one of my mother's sisters. I was curious, because I knew he only had 29 grandchildren from his 11 children by his legitimate wife, my grandmother. He opened his little black book and showed me three neatly handwritten columns of the names of his children. I think he had 18 in all. Beside the name of each child, he had written how many grandchildren he had by that child. He proudly counted his grandchildren off. "47," he said with no small amount of pride. I later on learned that aside from the names of all his children, the birth dates and phone numbers of each child was contained in that little black book. Every time he got a new black book, this very important information, he meticulously rewrote.

Now, I'm not trying to romanticize my grandfather's little black book. I don't doubt that amongst the names of his children are the names of some of his friends, even some of his old girlfriends. But, the very fact that he would take the time to write his children's names down in that small volume wherein he keeps what information he considers important to him made me see him in a slightly different light. It made me realize that he did care for things outside his reputation.

Like Clockwork

1. Mood swings that put British weather to shame,
2. Strong desire to stuff myself with all kinds of fattening comfort food,
3. Painful cystic acne that imply that I have yet to win that battle with sebum that began in puberty,

and then, finally, the telltale nearly unbearable pain in my abdomen. Every month, they happen without fail. They sound like horrible things, and trust me, they're no walk in the park, but I'm always grateful whenever I these signs arrive. After several years of periodic amenorrhea, they don't seem so bad.

WTF?! No signal?!

It was, apparently, a nationwide problem. (GMANews.TV)

It was around 16:10 when I noticed that my phone status was "No Access" rather than its usual "GLOBE" or "For Emergency use Only". I was concerned because Ivan, who was supposed to meet me at 16:00 had yet to arrive. I found it a bit strange since I was in an area where the signal is always pretty good.

I did the first thing I always do when I can't get a signal, I dialed *77#. Nothing. Perhaps a phone glitch like "Insert SIM"? I turned my phone off and turned it on after a minute or so. The "Searching" status was on for about five minutes before reverting to the dreaded "No Access".

I assumed the worst and thought that it was because I had yet to pay my phone bill, so I quickly changed into my TM sim. I went to the 7-11 next door and bought a load card for my TM sim, but when I turned my phone on, the status was still "No Access". I was quick to berate myself for losing my Sun sim.

I decided to go old school and use the phone booth, but when I dialed Ivan's cel number, it was unattended, as well. Frustrated, I called Leonard who told me all Globe subscribers had no signal. My first thought was, "Well, crap." After ending my conversation with Leonard, I decided to wait for Ivan a bit longer. When he didn't show up, I went to the badminton place we were supposed to go to, and found him there.

Miscommunication.

-

When I was in elementary, meeting up required that you knew what time you were going to meet and exactly where. With no way to communicate in transit, the need for a definite agreement was great.

In high school, I had a pager. I usually gave the excuse that the messages never got to me, which they oftentimes didn't, so the pager really wasn't much of an improvement. I remember this one time that my high school friends and I were supposed to meet, I waited over an hour for them at National Bookstore only to receive their page long after we'd met up that they would be late.

Near the end of high school, I got my first celphone. I thought it was frivolous and expensive, especially since I already had a pager. Now, it's indispensable. Times like this, I realize how much so.

My, how things change is such a short time...

Nostalgia Lyrics Trip: Laser Squadron Maskman

Tagalog Opening Theme

Humanda na kayo,
Kampon ng kadiliman.
Oras na ng pagtutuos
Kasamaan ay dapat matapos

Na. Heto na sila.
Bayaning tagapagtanggol,
Sa masam'y lipipol.

Maskman, kayo lang ang pag-asa!
Iligtas kami sa marahas na kadiliman
Kami'y inyong ipaglaban!

Sige! Sige! Laban, Maskman!
Ipagtanggol ang kapayapaan.
Sugod! Sugod! Laban, Maskman!
Pagsanggalang ninyo ang katarungan.

Buong mundo'y magpupuri't magpupugay, "Mabuhay!"
LASER SQUADRON MASK-U-MAN!

-

Bwahahahah.... I missed that show. I will now go out to hunt for more Tagalog-dubbed sentai series.

Nostalgia Lyrics Trip: Laser Squadron Maskman Ed Theme

I transcribed the lyrics from the DVD. I hope I got it right. Wahahahah.... fun.... I feel like I'm five again. I still prefer Jetman, though. I liked the angst. =p

-

Ito
Ang mga bayaning magiting
Walang takot sa bangis ng kalaba'y
Di umuurong

Matapat
Tagapagtanggol ng inaapi
Mga huwarang sa tungkuli'y tapat
Nakahandang mag-alay ng buhay

Maskuman, tanod ng kapayapaan
Maskuman, laging maaasahan
Dapat nating tularan ang kagitingin
LASER SQUADRON MASKUMAN, maskuman!

First Letter

Tagged by Ma-anne. Didn't think it would be so hard to fill up.

-

Instructions: Use the first letter of your name to answer each question. They must be places or names, nothing made up. You can't use own name for boy/girl's name question. If can't answer, skip to next one.


Famous singer: Kyla

Four-letter word: Kiss (mwah!)

Street: Kaayusan St. (Ivan's address <3)

Colour: Kulay ube! (wahahahahah...), khaki (thanks, Cole)

Gift/Present: Kotse? =D

Vehicle: Kia

Things in a souvenir shop: Keychain

Boy name: Khail

Girl name: Krista

Movie title: King Kong or Kill Bill x_x

Drink: Khalua

Occupation: King =p

Celebrity: Kristin Kreuk

Magazine: K (yung kay Kris Aquino)

City: Kansas

Sports: Karate

Fruit: Kiat-kiat, kiwi fruit

Reason for coming late to work: Kinapos sa pamasahe, kulang sa gas?

Something you throw away: Karton

Something you shout: Kiyaaah!!!

That's done. I now tag Ralph, Hasmin, Celine, Donna (have you been tagged?), Joy, and Patrick

January 8, 2008

This was a memorable day at the very least. A lot of things happened: some momentous no matter how you look at it while other events were important and noteworthy only to us. There were a lot of reasons to celebrate. Small things, unexpected things, and even things that bring incomparable joy were what colored so vibrantly the beginning of our sixth year together as a couple.

You just know that there are many things to look forward to when you have beginnings like this.

Edges

We picked up my dad from Sta. Ana, Cagayan this Christmas. If you look at the map above, you'll find Sta. Ana at the north-eastern tip of the Philippines. When we went to San Vicente,

I found it hard to deny that we were, indeed, at the edges of the Luzon mainland.

The weather was bitterly cold and, while we were there, the rain wouldn't let up. There was always a layer of mist covering the beach, making it a mystical shade of white-gray. On our last day, I went out with my mom and nephew to the beach, despite the cold, strong winds, and light drizzle. I stood there, on the brown sand, letting the waves lap at my feet, watching my nephew throw rocks at the unaffected sea.

It was an odd feeling, standing there at the edge of the ocean, feeling the sand getting sucked by the current back to the briny deep. Small stones and sharp edges rushed past my feet as I thought of where I would end up if I got sucked in, as well. If I took a few steps forward from where I was standing, the waves were certainly big enough to do just that.

How Do You Fall in Love?

Someone asked me that question last night. And no, that person wasn't asking about circumstances or methods, that person was asking about how I would know if I were in love. That person wasn't asking in general, either. The question was only for me.

I had answered with a cheesy freestyle poem that I wrote right then and there. I really don't know why I bothered to put it in that way or if I subconsciously stole it from some other writer who writes cheesy freestyle love-love schmutz. I mostly got it from a line I told someone a long time ago, "If I knew the reason why I love you, then it would be easy to find a reason not to love you." In any case, my first answer to the question was this:

If I knew the "who"s of who I would fall in love with,
I would not need to pine for that person anymore
If knew the "when"s and the "where"s,
I would not need to search anymore
If I knew the "why"s;
Then I would find the reason not to, anymore
If I knew the "how"s;
I wouldn't fall in love anymore.

To put it simply, if I were to be completely honest, the only answer I would give to that person's question would be "I don't know". How do I fall in love? Like most people, I would say that my heart beats faster at the sight of the one I love. My cheeks become flushed at the mere thought of him. My mind is always filled with thoughts of him and his mere presence makes me happy. Unfortunately, these very things are also indications of an infatuation. How to differentiate love and infatuation from each other is a completely different matter, if one considers these two things different at all.


I believe that we cannot choose the people that we develop strong feelings for, whether those feelings be love or infatuation. But, regardless of this, I also believe that falling in love needs some kind of decision. Two years ago, I would have told you that the key to falling in love is "social distance" and "attraction factor" (the former being explained by my Proximity Theory of Relationships and the latter being a basic necessity of falling in love). However, I've given up putting emotions into these pretty little boxes and tying them up with neat little bows. It's just more fun to see how wonderfully chaotic and illogical feelings are.

So, leaving that tangent, we go back to the question. How do I fall in love? I don't believe in love at first sight because I don't believe we fall in love in an instant. The realization that we are strongly attracted to a person takes a while to set in, at least for me. Once it sets in, the decision to accept these feelings takes an even longer time to make. Only the decision, the transition between "I don't know how I feel..." and "I'm in love!", is seemingly instantaneous. But, like other "Eureka!" moments in our life, it is not, really.

And, falling in love is a continuing decision, in my opinion. I've fallen in love three with three men in my life, but I've fallen in love countless times. At different points in time, I find myself reevaluating how I feel, checking if I still love that person. For our relationship to be meaningful, at those moments, I decide as often as those moments come, that I am still in love.

Birthdays and Murphy's Law

The ultimately pessimistic Murphy's Law says

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong at the most inopportune time."

So, when is the most inopportune time for all of hell to break out of the proverbial Pandora's box? I suppose, for a lot of people, it would be their birthdays. Yeah, you know, that one day in the year that you firmly believe is yours despite the fact that you probably share it with, like, 19,125,683 other people in the world.

But really, that's not my point.

On November 22, my brother celebrated his 26th birthday and Murphy's Law decided to pay him its usual birthday visit. There was a typhoon, the car he was using broke down and had to be towed, and my mom and I came home late with his birthday dinner cause of horrendously heavy traffic in Makati. You'd think that despite his birthday track record, he'd be used to bad luck on his birthday. His birthday mishaps has ranged from not getting picked up from school (he was in kinder) to falling off a horse (Tagaytay, when he turned 11) to having an infected ingrown toenail that needed to be operated on(when he turned 21). But, I guess, having a lousy birthday never gets old.

Yesterday, Ivan celebrated his birthday amidst the national crisis of coup d'etat and lousy gray weather. He left the house right before it started raining and got soaked. The people whom he was supposed to celebrate with couldn't come because of the coup and to top everything off, we couldn't stay out too late because of the curfew. Again, despite the fact that he had lousy birthdays before because of storms and such, I suppose it must have sucked to be ODed on Murphy's Law.

But, when things go infuriatingly wrong, there's also a saying that when you've hit rock bottom, there's nowhere to go but up (and what's more "rock bottom" than becoming the poster child for Murphy's Law on your birthday?) My dad came home from Cagayan Valley and the family had a luxurious lunch at the Manila Penn to celebrate my brother's birthday on November 25. He got money to construct enough fishtanks to make our house look like a mini version of Ocean Park, Hong Kong and he seems to be doing much better now.

On the other hand, today, Ivan and I went out on a date. We went for a dip in the condo, we had lunch at Fazoli's, his favorite restaurant, and we had his favorite frappe from McCafe. It was a long afternoon date that I hope made him feel better about the birthday gift Trillanes gave him.

Sexy Test: I Scored 46

I swear, the birthday of the person who made this falls on September, but I still scored pretty well, so here ya go! ^_^ I put an (x) beside my answers. Oh, I didn't make the two minutes, though. I wonder if I'll still have good luck. LOL.

GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND PENCIL NUMBER IT 1-11 (NO CHEATING) SEE YOUR RESULTS AT THE END OF THE TEST.

1 .WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOU HAVE?
a) dark (x)
b) light
c) middle

2. OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANT TO:

a) go to a party
b) go out to eat (x)


3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OUT OF:

a) pink
b) yellow
c) blue
d) turquoise (x)

4. PICK YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBY OUT OF:

a) talking
b) dancing
c) taking long walks (x)

5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING, WHICH WOULD IT BE?

a) Hollister
b) Old Navy (x)
c) Abercrombie

6 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING?

a) Hawaii
b) London (x)
c) Florida

7 . IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOU RATHER GO...

a) to the beach
b) somewhere cooler (x)

8. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH?

a) January
b) February
c) March
d) April
e) May
f) June
g) July
h) August
i) September
j) October
k) November (x)
l) December

9. WOULD YOU RATHER:

a) chill at home (x)
b) go out with friends

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE INSTRUMENT OUT OF:

a) guitar (x)
b) bass guitar
c) drums
d) the triangle

11. NAME A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
Ivan


* *ANSWERS** ^_^

1 .
a) dark= sexy [5points]
b) light = sweet [2 points]
c) in the middle=hot hot hot[5 points]

2.
a) go to a party = playful [2 points]
b) go out to eat = romantic [5 points]

3.
a) pink = cute [2]
b) yellow = loud [3]
c) baby-blue = cool [5]
d) turquoise = sexy [5]

4.
a) Talking = active [2]
b) Dancing = determined [2]
c) Taking Long Walks = daring [5]

5.
a) Hollister = tasteful [7]
b) Old Navy= laid back [9]
c) Abercrombie= stylish [5]

6.
a) hawaii = you like being around people [2]
b) London = You are quiet, and like the cold [2]
c) florida = You like to party! [5]

7.
a) beach = tan, likes the sun [5]
b) somewhere cooler = pale and original [2]

8.
a) January = popular [5]
b) February = lovely [2]
c) March = rebellious [5]
d) April = playful [5]
e) May = happy [5]
f) june = chills a lot [2]
g) July = smooth [3]
h) August = fun [5]
i) September = lovein that heat [10]
j) October = out-going [3]
k) November = pimpin' it [5]
l) December = warm [3]

9.
a) home = quiet, romantic [3]
b) go out with friends =crazy [5]

10.
a) guitar = eye-catching [5]
b) bass-guitar = mellow [2]
c) Drums = crazy [5]
d) Triangle = simple [2]

11. This person will fall in LOVE with you!

SCORES!!!!

UP TO 17= LOUSY GET A LIFE MAN

18-20=OKAY

21-35 = Rather SEXY!

36+=REA AAAAAAALLLLLLY HOTT... SEXY !!

NOW REPOST THIS IN THE NEXT 2 MINUTES AND YOU WILL HAVE GOOD LUCK WITH
YOUR ANSWER FOR NUMBER 11.

REPOST AS: " SEXY TEST I SCORED ___

Contradiction?

I was forcing myself to get through my last two minutes on the stepper at the gym yesterday when I remembered something the priest said during his Sunday homily. In so many words, he criticized people for being afraid of death as death is currently the only way for a Christian to go to Heaven (that and the second coming, but we don't know when that's happening, do we?). He surmised that people tried to "stay young" because they were afraid of facing the idea of death. He then said that concepts like anti-aging, age-defying and going to the gym were testaments of how people are afraid of death. He said that doing such things were signs that people did not want to die because their desire for Heaven is not strong enough.

But, to be honest, I think the priest missed the point of the "theme" of Sunday's readings (2 Maccabees 7:1-2, 9-14; 2 Thessalonians 2:16 - 3:5) and Gospel (Luke 20:27-38). I think the message of the 32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time is that enduring suffering and dying in the name of faith, martyrdom, is glorious. Paul encourages the faithful to endure and pray and look forward to the day that they are delivered from those who persecute them. Suffering and dying for your faith as the seven brothers and mother in the first reading did is glorious and would take one to Heaven; purposelessly dying does not do that. To stress my point, I quote Paul from the second reading.

"Brothers and sisters, pray for us, so that the word of the Lord may speed forward and be glorified, as it did among you, and that we may be delivered from perverse and wicked people, for not all have faith."

If God wanted us to suffer, if we were meant to suffer, why would Paul ask for deliverance from the unfaithful persecutors? Even Jesus asked for deliverance as he agonized in Gethsemane, thinking about his oncoming sacrifice. As for "staying young" and seeking death, it's also in the Bible that our bodies are temples of the Spirit. I believe we have the responsibility to take care of this temple, both physically and spiritually.

To end this, I will quote what Jesus said in the gospel.

"Even Moses made known in the passage about the bush, when he called 'Lord' the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and he is not God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive."

That said, while it is not wrong to die for Christ, we should not seek for death. So long as it is not yet our intended time and day to return to him, we should strive to LIVE for Christ. We should take care of ourselves so we are able to fulfill our mission given to us during the "Great Commission". We were not born simply to die, we are born to glorify our Creator.

At least, these are the things I believe.

Workplace related Sevens

I got these from the November issue of Readers' Digest and thought they were interesting. While I'm not sure how applicable they are to the Filipino workplace, I thought it would be good to share the tips anyway.

7 Rules to live by when using your work computer

Know your company's computer use policy and comply with it.

Assume that you're being monitored and behave accordingly.

Never bad-mouth your company online.

Don't use personal email accounts or post to a blog.

Avoid transmitting any message that could embarrass you or others if made public

Don't think instant messaging is less permanent than email.

When surfing the Web, never click on something flagged NSFW (not safe for work).

I only know of two or three companies that monitor the online habits of their staff. The article this list came with cited examples of people getting fired for their seemingly "harmless" activity. It's a fun read. While Filipino bosses are generally more tolerant, it's always a good idea to be safe and informed.

The ironic thing about this is that half of the people who will read this post will be doing so at work. LOL.

Okay, onto the next seven. Well, seven days to be exact. It's from the RDYou section of the same issue. The title of the article is "Which is the best day..." and relays which days are most suitable for which office activity.

Monday - Delegating, organizing, and setting goals

Tuesday - Online job hunting

Wednesday - Brainstorming sessions and projection of future plans

Thursday - Ask co-workers for things, ask for a raise

Friday - Confrontation of colleagues with grievances, be more cautious

weekend - well... rest.

That said, I will wait for Tuesday to resume looking for a job.

Note: Above are merely key points in the RD articles they came from. I suggest you read the actual article from the magazine. ^_^

End of Chapter

Allow me to be sentimental for a while. I'll come up with narrations when I feel like it, later on. =p

-

Not surprisingly, it wasn't until I watched something sappy that all that had happened within the last two weeks came to coherent form in my head. It was one simple exchange:

"What time does your train leave?"

"At around 930, I think. I already have my apartment cleared out."

"Oh, is that so? So where are you going to spend the night?"

"He's staying with me for one last time... one last time..."

Suddenly, I was back at Los Banos, having dinner with my labmates. It was around 11PM, of October 24th, the just at the end of the first day of the SPP Congress. I was set to go home the next day, after lunch and the other members of SanD were asking me to stay the duration. But, when I think back, one sentence jumps out at me:

"Heto na ang huli nating pagkikita, uuwi ka pa ng maaga." (This is our last meeting and you're going home early.)

At that time, I had laughed it off as sentimental nonsense and even said that "We'll definitely see each other again". It's only now that it dawns on me that the person who said that now works and lives in Zamboanga. It's only now that I come to realize that, even if I stayed with the lab for my master's degree, the others wouldn't necessarily be doing the same. That, the next time I go back to the lab, things would be drastically different, even if the same people are there.

I remember the happiness and sense of accomplishment of the people who had graduated before me. I'm just like them, I felt those very same emotions. And, perhaps, I should have written something when I was in the height of those emotions. I know I wanted to. But, back then, I couldn't find the words. I was at a turning point, and even if time was moving at the same rate as everyone else's, I was accelerating. I was changing direction. The world was spinning so fast and I got caught in its whirlwind. The pre-defense fear and anxiety, the post-defense joy, the hectic pace of SPP preparations, I never got to savor these moments. I never got to appreciate how these things changed me.

As I laughed and joked around with my labmates, as I discussed plenary talks and future research projects with my adviser, as I silently said my farewells to an old friend, I didn't have a chance to look at myself. Then, for the first time, I realized that it looks like I grew up...

...even a little bit.

Warm and Cold

I read this from a friend's blog and it made me smile. I felt that it needed to be shared, so here we go.

last Monday i was going down the long flight of stairs from the train station, right smack into the heart of the busy, congested highway that is EDSA. at the bottom of the stairs i noticed this one street vendor and one taho vendor having a hurried conversation. it went something like this:

Street Vendor:
[extending a plastic containing packed lunch to the other] kunin mo na o.. (you
can get this..)

Taho Vendor: hindi na, ayos lang.. (no, it's fine..)

Street Vendor: eto naman, sige na! (come on, take it!)

Taho Vendor: [fishes out a couple of coins from his pocket and shoves it into the hand of the other guy]

Street Vendor: sus, wag na! sayo na yan. (no need. just take it, it's yours.)

at that point they were already out of my sight. i dunno if the taho vendor paid for the food that was being given to him or not. but i found myself smiling after that. i'm not aware of the set of circumstances before that scene but it's very nice to know that amidst the poverty in our country some people still care enough to share what little blessings they have. it's strange, though, that i found this display of charity among people both from the lower classes of society while those who are much more blessed choose to turn a blind eye to the plights of the less fortunate.but thanks to those two guys, i think there's still hope for us after all.

Before reading this blog entry from Donna, I heard over the news that a tricycle driver returned an envelope containing P80,000 plus a check to a lady working in a music store. Ate Letty commented on that news segment

Ate Letty: Sana maraming taong ganyan. (I wish there were a lot of people like that)

Me: Marami naman eh. Marami nga lang rin na hinde. (There are a lot of people like that. But there are also a lot of people who aren't.)

Yeah, I know, that's not the nicest thing I could have said, but I was just stating the fact.

Much earlier in the day, Ivan and I were talking over pizza. I was complaining about how expensive the simple act of producing the bound copies of our theses was. He brought up that I had yet to collect (blank) amount of cash from this guy who I couldn't even find. "Yun pa lang, sobra-sobra na para sa thesis mo" (Just that [money] is more than enough for you thesis). I told Ivan that I had long let the money go and he was telling me that I shouldn't trust people so easily (to his credit, he did say that it wasn't really "good advice", but was more practical).

The truth is, I think most people aren't cold beacuse they're heartless; most people are cold because they feel as if there is a need to be. I have the luxury to be warm and giving because I have the extra cash or time or whatever that enables me to be so. For a lot of people that I know, Ivan included, they lived to learn that every centavo they have must be put to good use and accounted for to benefit the family. When that tricycle driver comes to a rough patch, someone might tell him, "Eh ikaw naman kasi, bakit sinauli mo pa yung pera. Ngayong kailangan mo, sino'ng tutulong sayo?" (Why did you return the money? Now that you need it, who will help you?).

So what should we have done?

Searching

This is one of those entries that I wrote because I felt like someone needed it. To you who has transferred from job to job or course to course; to you who has gone through a string of unhappy relationships; and to you who constantly wanders in search for happiness, I hope this makes sense to you.

All living creatures spend their lives searching.

That is just how it was meant to be. The simplest of creatures seek out sustenance. The most primitive of plants look for the sun. Animals search for food, habitat, and mates. All things search for their niche. As the creatures become more complex, so do their needs and the things that they look for.

So why should we humans, the most complicated of God's creatures be exempt?

We humans, like our evolutionary ancestors, spend our lives searching. Beyond food and sun and habitat and mates, we look for things that are more difficult to find. We search for purpose, meaning in life, love, and even God. We shouldn't be ashamed to search when that is what is natural for us to do.

(Yeah, abbreviated. Not thinking straight... Will try to come up with something more usable when all the stuff I need to finish are finished. ^^)