Broken Sandals

Unrequited love is like having a broken sandal.

I went to the mall with my mom today. While we were going about our business, the strap of my left sandal broke off. My mom told me to keep going about things while she bought me a new pair. As I hobbled along the aisles of the mall, I considered walking around without my sandals, but the floor was too cold, and that would just be weird.

It was so strange to walk around as though I were impaired, when nothing was really wrong with me. And even though I could function better without my broken sandals, I kept on walking (with difficulty) with them on.

When my mom and I met up and I was finally able to change into new footwear, I hesitated to throw the broken sandals away. I held onto them for a while, and even felt a little bad for disposing them when I was the one who was careless enough to break them in the first place.

But, they were useless to me and I functioned much better without them. It was just a matter of telling myself to let go.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

Irony of life:

People rarely listen to the wisest things they say.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

If you keep looking at yourself, you're looking too closely and you're not seeing the bigger picture. Try looking at your reflection from other people's eyes...

...you might see a difference.

This is cute...

blue_boxerbriefs LOVES parisdlr

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Love Level: 93%

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From Go-Quiz.com

Warning Label

I'm sure you have something about you that others should be warned about. Find out what it is here!

Is your personality a fiery one? Are you perhaps a little explosive in the mornings? This magical test aims to give you the appropriate warning label to display to your friends. Whether you are annoyed by cigarette smoke, a little radioactive, or about to fall into a hole, this test will give you and your friends some idea about that part of our personality they need to look out for! This test has taken off like wildfire. Don't be the last to warn your friends!

Infinite Insanity may explode without warning

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From Go-Quiz.com

Every person is at a different point on a different highway of life. Where are you?

As we cruise down the highway of life we come across many metaphorical destinations, some good some bad. Our individual personalities lead us all down a different path. Let this magical personality test tell you where you are headed! Just punch in your name and soon you will be rolling past the roadsign of your life. Don't forget to drive carefully! What are the towns on your highway? Be sure to drop in and visit them all, because life is a journey that we should all cherish. Peace!

Infinite Insanity Highway Childbirth Hospital 7 Mt. Happiness 22 Bog of Eternal Marriage 63 TravelWorld 109 Hobotown 373 Please Drive Carefully

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Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head

by BJ Thomas

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed,
Nothing seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So, I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done,
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long 'til happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'

Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

It won't be long 'til happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrop keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

--

A happy song this time. I don't know why, but I'm happy. So there.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

Letting go is not when you stop crying, it's when you're no longer afraid to cry because you're sure that if you do, you can stop and move on with your life.

Christmas

**insert long sigh**

It's already the day before Christmas, isn't it?

For some reason, I don't feel all that Christmas-y. It's not the first year this has happened. Last year, it was the same. I wasn't excited, I wasn't overly happy, but I wasn't sad either. I was just the same. Christmas had become just another day for me. The last celebration of the coming of the new year wasn't too different from last Christmas. I felt dull. I was even a little sad. I did a lot of things over the year that I wasn't too proud of, but I knew could never go back to change.

Perhaps it's because I am not anticipating anything anymore that I don't feel anything. Maybe it's because there is nothing that I want strongly. Sometimes, I feel that I have settled into my life. I'm not exactly satisfied, but I have come to accept my life as it is.

I've always seen Christmas and the coming of the new year both as celebrations of hope for things to come. Now, as I stop looking into the future and anticipating what is to come, they're just red letter days on my calendar.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

Unrequited love is a lot less painful than reciprocated love that can never happen.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

When arguing with someone, make sure that you're talking to convince that person and not yourself.

My Seduction Style?

Holding On

If you love someone, set him free and wish only for his happiness.

It's a theme that's as used and abused as a theme could get. When I was younger, I thought I understood it well, now it feels so unreal and impossible. Because, it says that if I truly am in love, I should be able to do those things: set him free and wish for his happiness.

I wonder now, do I truly love that person? If I do, why can't I let go? I hold on to him so tightly that my fingers dig into his skin and my grip suffocates him. I've been doing so for the last five years. And, in the same way I hold onto him, I hold onto the dream that we can have our own "happily ever after" together. Lately, I feel them being crushed in my grasp, and still I can't let go. And my greatest fear is their little pieces would one day slip through my fingers like sand.

Old Infinite Insanity Description

I'm posting it here for posterity.
(stole the smiley from here)

From the ashes of a glorious but slowly fading past
Burns the hungry flame of a passionate today.
Rising up from the muck of what weighs it down
It reaches up to the infinity of the cosmos
A beacon to the children lost in the dark
Lending warmth to the bitter and cold of heart
It lights the way to the countless possibilities of a glorious tomorrow
Slowly fading into view

It's actually a poem dedicated to UPPA. I wrote it right after the tambayan was burnt to a delicious black crisp. But... since we're back there now, I suppose the memory of it doesn't sting as much.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

It's sometimes not a good idea to analyze things to the point that they stop making sense.

Matters of Perspective

As Hasmin and I walked back towards NIP from our logbook shopping spree, she related to me her version of a story long discussed by the Katipips. I recognized the events she spoke of with little effort, but the meaning of everything seemed skewed and out of order. I began to wonder how people really saw me. I wondered if what I saw whenever I looked at people was as distinctly different from how they saw themselves. As she ended her tale I came to a conclusion.

"The view from outside is so different," I said wistfully and not without regret.

As the wind blew, a rain of leaves fell from the trees. And just as I admired their happy dance as they made their way to the cold earth; I couldn't help but wonder whether the tree was crying in longing or its remaining leaves were shivering in fear at the same sight.

PdLR's Thought for the Day

Restatement of Murphy's Law:

"We rarely notice how unfair the world is until it becomes unfair in someone else's favor."

Randomness: Some thoughts from last night

My cousin sent me this message last night:

Somebody once asked me, "How do you hold love?"

I answered, "With your hands wide open, your palms facing up, and with your heart ready to let go and let the other grow."

And that somebody asked again, "What if it hurts you?"

I smiled wistfully and replied, "Then, it means you're doing it right."

But, does it really follow? Can you really equate loving a person other than yourself to feeling pain?

---

When it comes to dealing with getting hurt repeatedly, there are two extremes: developing an immunity towards it and compounding hurts on each other to produce a pain greater than the sum of its predecessor parts. The problem with not feeling the pain anymore is that there is no way to gauge the damage being done. The problem with feeling all the pain and then some is it consumes you to the point that you don't know which way is up.

Funny...

The annoying thing about UP's Net Nanny

I'm working on my assignment for Bio 12. The research is about embryogenesis, you know, how a zygote develops into a fetus. One topic is about gastrulation, the process of forming a gastrula from a blastula. There is a process under gastrulation called "invagination". The thing is, I can't access the wikipedia site for Invagination because it is a "porn_expression" (read: vagina). I mean, come on, what self respecting porn site maker would use the word "vagina" on their website? More often than not, the words used are less, I don't know, scientific. I'm not even sure if half of the perverts in the world know the term!

Okay, that's an exaggeration. I imagine that most of the perverts in the world had elementary health class.

I suppose it's excusable. UP's just doing what should be done about preventing the use of their networks for "non-academic matters". Now, the irony of the whole thing is, I can access the wikipedia sites of porn stars like Maria Ozawa and Miko Lee.

Melting

"I went through all that trouble trying to see what kind of reaction I would get from you...I just wanted to see if I could make you melt. Even a little bit."

- Ayu Yamada from "Honey and Clover"

And just like that--in less than a minute of cartoon airtime--the emotions that I tried so hard to sort out all night long were summarized so neatly.